chlorophyll, more like borophyll.

i am a substitute teacher... at my old high school.

i should note that i recently moved home after 10 years of successfully working and living in several different cities and states. it's a riveting tale of hope, despair and rising again which i'll save for a future post.

first assignment at my dear alma mater: girl's p.e. coach. for those of you who know me: insert laughter, shortness of breath, continued laughter. for those of you who don't, i'll explain. while i won't say that i'm the furthest thing from a world-class athlete (as at present my wii fit age is 25, that's -2 years my real age) i do lack a certain grace, finesse and general coordination competency to ever be labeled as anything close to athletic. despite my shortcomings i handled myself quite well in the role of coach and even taught the ladies a thing or two about volleyball. it seems they didn't understand the rules for scoring a point or when to rotate; if i know nothing else in life, i do know how to score, and the importance of synchronized rotation. what's even more awkward than my athletic abilities... the gym smells exactly the same as it did 10 years ago.

second assignment: freshman spanish teacher. it is a well-known fact that i was the spanish club president in 2001. during my reign i 1. planned an awesome field trip to san antonio where we saw the alamo on our way to the riverwalk mall. 2. planned a colorful and tasty cinco de mayo fiesta. and 3. learned how to make a piñata. despite the courageous efforts of my high school spanish teacher (for 4 years) and various college professors (for 2 years), i speak "polite" spanish at best. turns out that is just enough spanish to scare freshman into believing you're legit.

things i wish i knew yesterday:
1. you can't be a real coach without a whistle.
2. i often confuse the fact that i am extremely competitive with being athletically inclined.
3. 15 years old or 6 years old, the 'teacher look' is unassailable.
4. i would someday return to high school... as a teacher.