Sunday, November 28, 2010

jive turkey.

because that's the way we've always done it.

over the years, my fondness for this gluttonous day of glory has grown exponentially... much like my pant size. and while the food is my first love, it's the traditions that keep me coming back for more (pun intended). we'll blame it on all of the amazing women in my family who have simply continued what is worth continuing. and while the itinerary for the actual day of thanks hasn't changed much, what was once a 1 day sprint to the fat farm has evolved into a 4-5 day marathon... and i'm not mad about it. beyond the traditional family (biologically speaking) thanksgiving, i have been blessed with a family of friends who graciously include me in their family traditions.

and in the in-between we make up a few traditions of our own...
1. midnight shopping. two days ago i was morally opposed to black-friday. i literally could not think of a worse way to end the tryptophan induced haze than to spend the wee-hours of the morning with crazed shoppers on the hunt for a deal. but about a bottle of wine into the night, that all changed. while drowning our sorrows, following a rather unfortunate texas/texas a&m outcome, my girlfriends and i decided that maybe midnight shopping at our local wal-mart was not such a bad idea. and in fact, it was the most brilliant idea we've had to date. with a little vino to take the edge off,  'finding the deals' was almost as much fun as enjoying the locals who take this sort of shopping seriously. 2 shop-vacs, 2 belgian waffle makers, 2 electric griddles and 38 dvds later... the three of us have a new thanksgiving tradition.
2. friday morning i awoke, a little black-friday skip in my step, and decided i needed to share these good deals with the masses. i made my way to my bff's parents' house for a little coffee and company. i should note that my friend is 1 of 9 children... there is always plenty of company (and coffee) at their house. we spent the morning making our way through recorded episodes of criminal minds, interrupted by a head-to-toe fashion consult as my friend chose an ensemble for her evening out -- side note: sisters are like super-honest-best-friends-on-crack. since i haven't known the joy of having a sister, my findings after spending several hilarious days with these 4 ladies are absolutely going to make their way into a blog post. -- after everyone moseyed on their way my bff's older sis adopted me for the day. together the two us drank champagne, ate strawberries, watched leap year, and made cinnamon-chocolate brownies with white chocolate ganache, which we also ate. it was a rather romantic afternoon (without any pressure) and a new thanksgiving tradition that i think is equally hilarious and awesome!

things i wish i knew yesterday:
1. legit black-friday shoppers do not think it's funny that you and your friends continue to take pictures and shout things like "omg, the deals are so hot i'm sweatin'!"
2. during a multi-day thanksgiving marathon, you'll need a break from the turkey... margaritas and fajitas are a fantastic option!
3. it is not impossible to type and eat pumpkin pie at the same time.
4. you can't win 'em all, texas. hook 'em!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

all rise.


justice = served.

for those of you who have not had the pleasure of serving on a jury, please do not read this post! i don't want to 'ruin the surprise' for you when your day of service eventually comes.

i have been summoned for jury duty several times, we'll call it my good fortune. in fact, the frequency with which i am 'randomly selected' is nearly enough to form a weak, yet totally spooky, conspiracy theory. unlike my previous summons, this time i didn't have a 'legitimate exemption' and therefore i dutifully answered the call to service. and, because i'm super lucky, i was selected for the jury. fyi: if you would like to avoid actually being selected for a jury i would recommend thinking of the most crazytown response you can dream up and then reciting said response regardless of the question asked. it's a technique i've seen used with great success. i'm not exactly sure how attorneys decide which jurors to choose. i'd like to think, per my being selected, that they pick the brightest and most well-rounded candidates. i now know, per this experience, that is not necessarily the case.

as for the actual trial... it was less a time to kill, more construction engineering lecture. the case was about levee construction on duck-hunting leases; slightly less intense, even for the avid sportsman. turns out, they save the 'good-stuff' for jury deliberation.

there's always one. far be it for me, as a juror, to deny any other juror their right to be ridiculous... but o.m.g! this one must have slipped through the virtually fail-proof 'crazytown response' filtering method. i'll spare you the gory/hilarious details but somewhere between his telling another juror he would "agree with her if she bought him a hamburger" and his entertaining and spontaneously fabricated expertise in the area of levee construction, i started looking for the hidden camera and ashton.

things i wish i knew yesterday:
1. the gavel is apparently optional. disappointing.
2. that whole 'swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...' bit is a lot scarier in real life than on tv.
3. jury duty is a lot like waiting in a voting line, kind of an inconvenience but a right i am proud to exercise.
4. let the record reflect, following my service as the trier of fact in proceedings of the 2nd 25th judicial district court, inter alia, it is my intent hence forth to intermingle legalese in layman tête-à-tête without regard for actual meaning or appropriateness!!