so good when it hits your lips.

i'm on a diet.

if you've ever been on a diet yourself or spent any length of time in proximity of someone who is denying themselves of life's most delicious treats then you know 1. how rude, inappropriate and/or violent a diet-suffer can become without provocation or fair warning and 2. that the sweet, sweet moment when a dieter finds a healthy alternative to their favorite calorie laden delight is life-altering.

enter yoplait light yogurt: southern red velvet cake. i love red velvet cake almost as much as i love being from the south. there are no two things that i love to hear more than 'with cream cheese frosting' and 'bless your heart.' to say the least i was excited to try this new product, well new to me because as of last week i was still eating the calorie-laden, awe-inspiring, heavenly real thing. so excited i bought 2 cups of this tasty prize because i already knew, before trying it, that yoplait light southern red velvet cake yogurt and all its deliciousness would inspire me to continue said diet, workout, change my lifestyle, lose 13231 pounds, find a husband, get married, happily ever after.... in a 6 oz cup.

fast forward to shock and horror. it's gross. there are far more impressive adjectives i could use to describe this but the sheer disappointment of just how unfortunate this product is has left me with so little energy/will to live that 'gross' is the best i can do.

things i wish i knew yesterday:
1. you have 10,000 taste buds (or so says the mcdonald's billboard i pass everyday on the way to work) and you don't want to piss all of them off at the same time.
2. i have to practice tempering my enthusiasm with a dose of reality.
3. grandma's make red velvet cake, yoplait makes yogurt. simple as that.
4. jello pudding, 60 calories, sweet moment.

blogging, much like pimpin'... ain't easy.

this is my second attempt at blogging ... within the last 3 months.

with the first blog, i had too lofty of goals. i wouldn't write unless i had something life-altering to share... that ain't easy. while it's true that i do lead a decidedly fabulous and adventure-packed life (or something close to that) i can't always entertain/educate the masses through my experiences. the second, and probably more detrimental element of the first blog, was my fixation on finding a funny video to go with each post. that's not so easy when the blog is about say... sleeping my life away, facebook relationship statuses, my mother's cruel words of advice, etc.

things i wish i knew yesterday:
1. short and entertaining is better than long-winded and poetic.
2. picture, video, amateur sketch... it's all the same.
3. accessories, especially those of the bedazzled/animal print variety, make everything easier.